I let Constance choose a movie to watch as part of her birthday celebration. She wanted to watch ‘Parent Trap’. It’s the 1998 version with Lindsey Lohan. I remembered it being cute and amusing, so I said yes.
There’s a scene in which Hallie, pretending to be her identical twin sister Annie, is reunited with her mom. She has no memory of her mom. From Hallie’s perspective, it’s been forever since they’ve been together. She’s crying for all of the feelings welling up within her. For her mom, thinking that this child is Annie, the separation has been relatively short. She’s a bit perplexed that her daughter is overwrought.
Then, it hit me. This is what Heaven is like. It will, in all likelihood, be many years (decades) before I see my Mom again. I’ll rush up to her, so happy to see her again. How good it will feel to be held in her arms and let her wipe away those happy tears. For her, it won’t have been long at all. It will be right and natural that we are reunited. Of course this was the way it was meant to be. I’ll be home.
I miss her touch. Have you ever had a friend whose hugs felt amazing? It’s as though there is a tangible flow of love that seeps in through your skin. She could do that. Mom used to rub my back when we were sitting next to each other. It didn’t really matter what she did: scratch or massage. Her touch was like sunshine for my soul. I felt more complete and whole as a person. Mom’s absence now is a hole that no one else can fill.