All Hail the Queen

The “People of Walmart” has been a thing for a while now.  I should say at the outset that I like shopping at Walmart.  It’s convenient.  I can find just about anything I might need in the average shopping trip under one corrugated tin roof.

Chicken breast? Yes.

Diapers? Yes.

Swimsuit for toddler? Yes (depending on the season).

Yarn? Yes.

Tires for my car? Yes, and installation!

For a person with a biggish family and a hatred of spending all day running errands, Walmart is great.  But there’s something a little low-brow about Walmart.  The concrete floors and bare industrial ceilings make people think they can go to the store in whatever they happen to be wearing in the instant they decide to go.  And given that Walmarts are often open 24 hours a day, this can mean apparel is casual.  Very casual.  Risqué even.

[One of these days, I’m gonna dress to the nines and visit my local Wally World.  Just to see what would happen.  Hmmm, a fancy dress, fur coat, cigarette holder…  Basically, Cruella deVille goes to Walmart.  Ah, but that is a post for another day; Walmart is an ocean away.]

This phenomenon has been meticulously documented on the website “People of Walmart” *.  Warning, the site is NSFW!

I am here to say that the People of Walmart have a new queen.  She was parading around a Walmart in Texas on one of the motorized carts.  It gets better.  She rode in her carriage for three hours early one morning.  Drinking wine.  Out of a pringles can.**  True story.

I have so many questions.  Was it white wine, red wine, or rosé?  What flavor of Pringles are we talking here?  Did she bring the wine and Pringles into the store or did she take them off the shelf?  Was she using the Pringles can as a cover for the wine bottle or did she pour the wine directly into an empty can?  Was it an empty can?!   Surely she didn’t pour the wine into a full can of Pringles.  But this is the Queen of Walmart.  Perhaps, her majesty was trying to cleanse her palate during the wine tasting.

All hail the Queen!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: